Derailed Quest -- Or, Dawn of the Thief Angel Brigade
by Rankaloid
Summary: Based on the Vulcanus Bad Ending, where Vulcanus(?) drafts the hapless D4 group into helping her with her 'collections'. It's too bad they're a bit less helpful than she thought they would be...


The evening in the Netherworldian metropolis was cool and pleasant, marked by a gentle breeze flowing between the buildings and a blanket of stars lying far above them. As far as nights in a world full of demons went, it was a wonderful night indeed; even the city seemed to have slowed down to reflect the peaceful atmosphere, bringing a comforting quiet to the dazzling lights of the city.

Somewhere far above, watching the lights twinkle and shine below them, was a very odd group - a ragtag bunch nobody would've expected to see near each other, let alone gathered as though they knew each other, with kids and adults, demons and humans, perfectly normal people and more monstrous beings.

But, really, any passing demon would've been more focused on the angel standing in front of the group - a pink-haired symbol of greed, infamous and feared the whole Netherworld over for her countless and merciless heists on the businesses of the demon world. She smiled, a disarmingly innocent sort of look, and clapped her hands together, bringing the small group to attention.

"All right, everyone!" the angel known as Vulcanus declared. "Are you ready for your second major heist?"

Of the five, only Fuka and Desco perked up at all; each of them offered a "Heck yeah!" and "Desco is always ready!", their smiles big on their faces.

"Wow! Your enthusiasm is really something!" Vulcanus continued, apparently ignoring the sour looks on Emizel and Fenrich's faces. "Excellent! Now, since this is your second heist as part of your effort to repay your debt, I'd like to share some...pointers...from the first heist."

"Pointers?! Ain't it enough that we're helping you at all?" Emizel burst out.

"First of all, Miss Fuka..." Vulcanus began, apparently completely ignoring Emizel; she pointed at the Unprinny, who stared back at her with a rebellious frown on her face.

"..._Please_ don't take any money for yourself again. We're collecting for a purpose, not to line your own wallet! I'll let you off with a light fine of 10,000 HL, since this is your first offense, but don't let it happen again!"

At '10,000 HL,' every face in the group turned, glaring at Fuka; the teen shifted nervously, her face growing more and more uncomfortable.

"...Jeez, you take a thousand HL here and there and suddenly everyone's on your case! Man, collecting _sucks_! I wanna hurry up and wake up already!"

"Okay, second of all! Miss Desco..."

"Yes, Miss A - Vulcanus!" Desco piped up immediately, standing up on her tail and straightening her whole body in rapt attention.

"Umm...while I'm happy you've taken your role with so much enthusiasm, I would really appreciate it if you stopped blowing up the facilities. It's hard to justify a collection when we cause so much collateral damage...plus, you might accidentally destroy a safe."

"Huh?" Desco asked, her determined face falling into a confused frown. "B-but if Desco doesn't use her might to spread terror, how will she ever become a final boss? Training is very important!"

"..." Vulcanus sighed, slowly pushing pink hair from her forehead as though going for a subtle facepalm. "...Just don't, Miss Desco. And don't think I didn't see you helping Miss Fuka steal money, either."

Desco sighed, her whole posture sagging and her face falling. "Yes, Miss Vulcanus...Desco won't..."

"...Seems a little mean, crushing a little girl's hopes and dreams like that..." Emizel muttered.

"Finally! Mr. Werewolf!" Vulcanus declared, her voice noticeably angrier and her face more tense as she turned her finger to Fenrich.

". . ."

"..._Mr. Werewolf_," Vulcanus tried again.

Finally, Fenrich looked up in acknowledgment, his eyes blazing with hatred. "...Is the thief angel addressing me?" he growled.

"Over the course of this heist, the guards were mysteriously alerted to our location, the water main mysteriously broke and swept us down the hallway, and, at the very end of it, the president of the bank _mysteriously_ knew exactly where we were coming from and disappeared in the opposite direction, taking his life savings with him. I estimate that all these setbacks cost us approximately 108,257 HL overall."

Fenrich's snarl slowly turned to a snide smirk, and he straightened up to meet Vulcanus's eyes with his resentful golden ones. "...How very unexpected. It seems that karma may be catching up to you, hm, you rotten thief?"

"..." Vulcanus glared at Fenrich a moment longer, then let out a dramatic sigh, looking at her fingernails. "...Well, even if you're not going to admit it, I'm still adding that lost money to your bill. Please don't mistake me for a pushover in the future, Mr. Werewolf...okay?"

"Gh...!"

Emizel just groaned, his lip curling at the thief angel's sugary-sweet smile. "We're just gonna be more in debt the more stuff we steal, huh...how am I supposed to get my rep back if people see me with the Angel of Avarice?! This isn't fair...!"

"This is _perfectly_ fair!"

Everyone, including Vulcanus, flinched at the commanding voice; all at the same time, they turned to the one person who hadn't yet spoken, standing at the edge of the cliff with his back turned as his cape fluttered dramatically behind him.

"My Lord...?"

Valvatorez turned, shaking his head. "While it may not be an agreeable situation, the fact of the matter is we promised this...Vulcanus...a reward of 10 million HL for my capture. In order to keep that promise, we must pay her every ounce of the debt we owe! I will hear no more complaining until we fulfill our duty! Understood?"

Everyone stayed silent after that (even Fenrich, who looked like he was _dying_ to speak); slowly, Valvatorez turned around and looked off the cliff again, his arms crossed, not saying another word.

"...Mr. Vampire..." Vulcanus murmured, almost too quietly for anyone to hear. For a moment, she looked terribly sad - and maybe even the slightest bit _guilty_.

But, less than a moment later, she shook her head a few times and wiped all the melancholy from her face with a single peppy smile. "Well, I'm glad to hear someone has the right idea! Everyone, please follow Mr. Vampire's example going into this next collection. We wouldn't want any more undue debt, would we?"

"Ugh...fine!" Fuka spat immediately, crossing her arms and pouting. "Where'd you say we were going?"

"Well, our next target," Vulcanus declared, pointing down to the city below the hill, "is the Netherworld Shopping District! According to my calculations, many of the department stores there have taken over -"

"Oh...my...**_god_**! We're going _shopping_?!" Fuka screeched, her eyes lighting up with the hopes and dreams of girls everywhere.

"That's - not what I said at all, Miss Fuka -"

"Wooow! Big sis seems really excited! Is shopping really that cool?!"

"Yeah, duh! What kind of girl are you, Desco?! You can buy clothes and perfume and delicious food and everything else a girl could _possibly_ - !"

The three girls continued on, Vulcanus trying to voice her objections while Fuka and Desco only kept working each other up; Emizel sat on the sidelines, his face an ugly frown, fuming over everything he had to endure.

Back a bit from the chaos, Fenrich merely frowned; then, he looked back at Valvatorez, still poised unmoving on the cliff. His frown became deeper, and he looked away, a single thought running through his mind:

_My Lord, I hope you know just how dire this situation really is..._


End file.
